The big (ass) reveal....

Here I am! An admittedly crap composite of my before photos, I have no idea how to get them all the same size etc. Probably getting my husband to stay in the same place when taking them would be a good start!

Yikes, you can really see my generous posterior in these pics. Not to mention the thunder thighs! And of course I'm not really headless in real life, just here in blogland. Maybe I should change my blog title to the headless bandit? Kidding. 

Weighed in this morning at 86.7kg (191.1 lbs), but I won't really believe it til I've seen it a couple of days in a row. Only 9 sleeps til surgery!

The ups, downs and roundabouts..

Hello strangers :) Sorry that I have been missing in action lately!

Let's start with the crappy stuff. I haven't really lost much more weight, considering I'm supposed to be on VLCD this last week, I have been having a shitty time of eating. Why do people feel they have to be food pushers? I ended up having pizza (yes, PIZZA!) at work one night last week. I knew I shouldn't, didn't really want to, but did anyway to keep up appearances. Argh! Some people have a hard time taking "no thanks" for an answer. One piece won't hurt (um, yes, it kinda will. Especially when it leads to more pieces). We also took an impromptu road trip to visit one of my friends for her birthday, and that was really hard to eat very well as I had little to no choice over the meals. I tried to avoid any carbs, but in general my calories would have been more than I should have been having while on VLCD.

Then there is the self-sabotage. I am working really hard to get away from my all or nothing thinking, but it crept up on me when we got back from our roadtrip. I had some really nice chocolate stashed away in the fridge, and my plan was to make it last until the end of the year. Hmm. Well, there is still some left, but I made a fairly hefty dent in the stash on Sunday night. After I had one piece, the "I've already ruined my diet, might as well enjoy it" thoughts kicked in.

So where am I? 11 days out from surgery, and currently weighing in at 87.6kg (193.1 lb). Soooo not where I wanted to be. They don't tell you that VLCD's are actually harder the second time around! Last year, leading up to the wedding, I was a model student. 2 cups of vegies and 3 meal replacements. Poster child, lost 16kg all up on the opti (over about 3 months). Here's hoping that if I am extra good for this last 11 days I can shave another couple of kgs off that for my pre-surgery weigh in at the surgeons.

Many apologies for being absent from commenting, I've only really been reading blogs in reader on my phone, which makes it a bit hard to comment. I promise when I'm off work for two weeks I will plant myself in front of my PC and comment on everyone's blogs :o)

Best go have a coffee, off to work soon. Yay night shift! (Not).

Luv and hugs to all xo

Weigh and Measure

After one week of pre-op diet, I weighed in this morning at 88.5 kg (195.1 lb) which is a loss of 2.1 kg (4.6lb). I'll take it! I'm under no illusions however, I know that the beginning of any VLCD is mainly fluid, but I'm still happy to see the number on the scale heading in the right direction.

I finally did my measurements last night. I have a file on my computer that I have used before to record my measurements and when I opened it, I realised I haven't written any down since 2007! Can we say denial? I have been up and down at least twice since then! It also coincides with the time I met my husband. Hmmmm. That could be a clue right there. I must get some photographic evidence too, for a before/during/goal comparison way down the track. We don't have a full length mirror, so I will ask the hubs to take a pic or two for me.

So I recovered fairly well from my hormonally induced meltdown on Thursday. It really was unfortunate timing for TOM to occur when I had a crappy day at work too, but I survived without any major eating incidents, which in itself is a minor miracle. I'm pleased overall with my 2.1kg loss, and I hope it will continue this week when I am trying to be much better at the eating plan. 3 weeks and one day to go until surgery, and I want to make them all count!

A big howdy and hello to my new followers! Hi! Thanks for dropping by!

Hungry, hungry, hormonal, hot-headed hippo.

Yup, that was me today. (Is me today?). 

Although I had already decided not to be too hard on myself this week, I have still been trying my best to stick to the plan (optif@st and vegies). I know from experience that the first week is hell, that I would be hungry and that I would want to murder someone. However, I didn't realise this week would also be TOM for me, so that multiplied said hunger homicidal rage by 100. I haven't done too badly on the eating front, but I have eaten more carbs than I should have (although these carbs came in the form of apples, so I don't feel that guilty), and in all honesty, I just feel FAT. My jeans are tight, my shirts are tight, and I feel like everyone is looking at my ass. But not in a good way. 

I had a bad day at work (not horrible bad, just bad enough to get me worked up), and I came home wanted to devour the entire contents of the fridge. Instead, I settled for an optislim bar and a cup of tea, followed by an apple with peanut butter. I am happy that I stopped there, as I am sure in the past I really would have gone back for whatever was hiding in the fridge. 

I know these feelings will pass, and I will return to my normal programming soon, but waiting for that to happen is frustrating. My usual coping strategy is off limits (forever!), so I am learning to deal and will need to develop other ways of doing so. On the bright side, I have another month before I have to deal with being so cranky again! Just in time for my surgery.. 

May the shrinking commence!

I survived a week with the in-laws! Just! Yay!

No really, it wasn't that bad but I was definitely glad to come home. The wedding itself went well, not my style in either the brides or bridesmaid dresses (really, really not my style), and the venue was nice but not great. I got to spend more time with people I met for the first time at our wedding last year, and I'm happy about that. I didn't get a photo of myself in the dress, but I promise more photos soon.

I tried to keep up reading peoples blogs on my phone, but when I got a message from my phone provider warning I had used a serious chunk of the months data allowance, I thought I better stop. When I got home there were over 200 in my reading list! Good grief! I worked my way through them on Friday afternoon, and am now going back to comment on some while I write this.

Tomorrow is 4 weeks to go until my surgery! I would add a counter to my blog, but I am a bit technically-challenged so I don't know how. I will add it to my list of things to ask for when I get my blog makeover when I get to 85kg (187.4 lb). As I am supposed to do 2-4 weeks of pre-op diet (seriously, who tells someone that. Do I do 2? Or 4?), I decided to start on the diet today. Sort of. I have had a reasonably good day, sticking to the plan for about 80% of the time. I realised, however, that I didn't do enough preparation shopping, so will be stopping on the way home from work tomorrow to buy some optifast bars and the flavour of shakes that I like (strawberry for anyone who is interested). I weighed in this morning at 90.6kg (199.7 lb). Eeek! This is what going away for 10 days and having little control over the meal decisions does to me (however I can't blame anyone else for what I actually chose to put in my mouth). I will do some measurements tomorrow on my "official" start day, as I keep reading how important it is to have another way to measure your progress.

I'm going to the races this weekend, and wearing the same dress that I wore to the wedding  (mostly as it is the only one of my races-appropriate dresses that fits), so there may be some pictures taken.

I should go comment on some more blogs, then get ready for bed. Early morning tomorrow for work!

Have a lovely day everyone :o)

I'm Back!

And golly, it has taken me hours to get through everyone's posts from the last 10 days!! I don't have time for a proper update as it's bed time, and I must say I am very glad to be back in my own bed! Will drop by tomorrow after work (yes, on a Saturday, stupid shiftwork!).

Good to see you all again!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Surgeon visit - Full Recap

Hello!! I'm so excited to finally have a surgery date! And although it seems so far away, I know it isn't. The countdown is on! 42 days!

So my appointment took up most of my morning! I went in at 1015, and didn't come out until after 1230! I didn't believe my appointment letter when it told me it would take so long, silly me.

I arrived and handed over all my paperwork/xrays etc and waited to be taken in. The nurse saw me first, she weighed me (FYI in clothes, on their scale, I weigh 1.3 kilos more than stark nekked at home), and she also measured me. Hmmm. Apparently I am 2 cm shorter than I have been claiming all these years! I'm still going to say I'm 154cm, I need those 2cm. It adds 2 full points to my BMI! So unfair. I haven't shrunk, really. We had a brief chat about the surgeries, she herself has a band, so she knows what she is talking about. She told me that my Dr prefers to do the sleeve now and would probably try and talk me into it (I was prepared for this, as my referring Dr had told me the same thing). We picked a surgery date (yay!), then she sent me back to the waiting room to wait for the surgeon.

Now we get to the real reason for the appointment taking so long. He can talk! Forever! But not in a "we are having a conversation and time has passed quickly" way, it was more in a "I have said this speech so many times I can do it in my sleep so just be quiet and wait for it to be over" way. It wasn't too bad, he started with why people get fat, the history of obesity and diets, why commercial diet programs work short term, then worked his way through the history of weight loss surgery and which surgeries he does and doesn't offer. Phew.

He did wax lyrical about the sleeve and discussed why he preferred it now (more average excess weight lost, faster), but was honest about the benefits of the band (safer surgery mostly, more long term data). He said he can't predict who will do well with the band and who won't. I gave him my reasons for choosing the band and he said "ok, I'll show you what they look like", and that was the extent of trying to convert me! I was pretty pleased with that. I must say I didn't know there were so many types of bands! He had about 5 different types in his stash, but he did throw a couple out as they are no longer used. He also explained the differences and why he chooses his preferred band (allergan). He mentioned there were a couple of others he had seen at meetings and expressed interest in, but no-one followed up on it (his words - "their salespeople in Australia should be sacked).

So after all that, I asked my questions (thanks ladies), got some answers (he was very good at giving honest answers, no sugar coating), and then he sent me back out to the nurse to do some paperwork. The nurse handed over an opus of information/forms for the hospital, a band portion perfection plate/bowl/book, and sent me on my merry way. I was very glad to hear that all my follow up and fills/adjustments will be covered under medicare so my hefty surgery fee should be a once off expense as far as the band goes.

Would you believe I walked out of the nurses room straight into one of the people I work with?! She made a beeline for the toilet and then made herself busy reading a magazine, so I'm hoping this means she is also keeping a surgery secret and will keep mine too. Only time will tell, and I will wait to see when I run into her at work if she says anything.

Goodness this has turned into a novel! Congratulations to anyone who is still reading! I'm sure I have left bits out.

Oh yes I have - pre-surgery diet! I already knew most of this from my visit to the dietician so many moons ago, but it was reiterated at this appointment. I am required to do 2-4 weeks of VLCD (optifast or other of my choice). Roxy the nurse (not her real name, I'm just getting bored of calling her the nurse) said they would like to see me a couple of kilos lighter before the surgery, but there were no demands or "must be" weights, which is good. I will start on the optifast when we get back from a wedding we are driving to (leaving tomorrow, returning next friday), which will be almost 4 full weeks. However, I'm not going to be too hard on myself as it is our first wedding anniversary the weekend before my surgery so I know we will probably go out to dinner. I will just avoid carbs and stick to protein/vegies that meal.

So to wrap up, I will be stuck with reading blog posts on my phone for the next week (from tomorrow), so I may not get a chance to comment much. I will be trying to find some free wi-fi to get my fix, so I may not comment on many posts, but trust me I will be thinking of you all! Thank you so much for your support and comments!!

Better go pack!