An Unwelcome First.

I have felt the pain of the monster called PB, and I am not impressed.

Warning for possible TMI ahead!

Tuesday morning I went to visit my surgeon for an assessment, and he decided to up my fill level as the last top up had not really done much. He added 1.25ml, which took me to a nice round 7ml all up (in a 10ml band). I had a glass of water, went down fine, everything was hunky-dory. He mentioned that a was "a small person" so it could take as much as 9ml before I was at my sweet spot.

I played it safe with quiche for lunch, chewed the bejeebus out of it, and had no troubles at all. Fast forward to dinner however- we have a friend staying will us for the next 2 weeks before she goes on a big holiday, and she does not know about my surgery. Hubby picked up yummy Indian food for dinner, and I served myself half a bowl just of the meat (chicken) and sauce (no rice). I ate what I thought was slowly and with (apparently) small bites. Everything seemed to be going so well! After a while, I got a strange feeling at the back of my throat, and in my chest. I excused myself to the bathroom and proceeded to feel the most uncomfortable I have ever been. I knew something must be stuck, but couldn't lodge it. Long story short (too late!), after a good 15-20 minutes of sliming and walking around the bathroom trying to get comfortable, my dinner came up. Twice.

I tell you what, that is not something I want to repeat in a hurry! I had some leftovers tonight, and I was so careful! I took the teeniest tiny bites and chewed like my life depended on it! It took quite a long time to eat, but at least it stayed down!

So there you have it, my first - and hopefully last - PB experience!

Living in the 70s

Ahhh, skyhooks. For those who don't know them, they were an awesome Aussie band back in the day. Well, my parents day! I'm sure there would be some YouTube lying around. Anywhoozle, one of their songs was "living in the 70's".

I can cautiously and optimistically say that this is now me! Woohoo! Two days in a row at 79.0kg (174.1 lb ), I'll take it thank you very much! I was very excited when my scales did that biggest loser jump around this morning and briefly showed. 78.5, maybe this will follow soon.

Nothing else to report today, sorry peeps, but it is 1am and I'm blogging on my phone while laying in bed, so epic posts are a little difficult!

Hope you are having a lovely day, wherever you are!

Forgive me blogland...

For it has been three weeks since my last post! I have no idea where the time has gone, but I couldn't believe it. I have been reading everyone elses blogs, but barely commenting. I have been a bandster in hiding. My sincere apologies. To catch up, I think this will be a bullet point post.

• I have been Biz-zee! Yes, with a capital B. Trading all my shifts around so that I can be in my new department for training, going in on my days off to train, and trying to keep on top of friendships/home/life is exhausting. I will be so glad to finally be off the shift rotation for good, and officially a day-shifter. When this will actually happen, I have no idea. 

• Yesterday I downloaded myfitnesspal on my phone and I am loving it already. Did you know you can scan in the barcode for items and it will look them up? Awesome! I think instant tracking like that is going to really help me keep accountable for my choices. Then I don't have to remember it and log it later, conveniently forgetting things I have eaten during the day. Is there anyone else using it? I have vague memories of some blogland people talking about it, but can't find any of the relevant posts! If you want to add me as a friend, my username is redridinghoodbandland (original, I know!). 

• Things have been ok, weight wise, however not great. I'm still sitting around 80.0kg - 176.4 lb (some days up a bit, some days down a bit). The first few days after my last fill I could feel a small difference, however after a week or so I couldn't tell at all. I had an appointment with my dietitian about 2 weeks after the fill, and we had a really interesting discussing about weight loss surgery and eating disorders. She said it is very common for people to have an unknown eating disorder before surgery, and for it to show its ugly head when they are trying to lose weight. This is another way to look at head hunger. She says that we need to not let the disorder win, and if we feel like we are getting out of control, to hotfoot it back to the dietitian or counsellor and get it sorted quick smart. I told her about some posts I had read on a forum where one lady said she had thrown up EVERY DAY since her surgery 2 years ago. TWO YEARS! We discussed how this is essentially bulimia, except you can blame it on the band. Please, people, if you are throwing up every single day, please go and see someone. It is not necessary, and certainly not good for you. (PS this is not meant to sound judgemental, I am just really bad at getting across information I have received elsewhere!). 

• I went for another fill on Tuesday morning. My surgeon put in 2mls, so I now have 5.75ml in my 10ml band. I stuck to mushy food for the first few days, and didn't really think that there was much difference. However, last night I was eating the lemon out of my drink (I know, I'm odd), and when I swallowed the pulpy bit, it seemed to get stuck. It was the strangest feeling! I went into the bathroom incase it decided to return to sender, but then I felt it pass. I actually think I felt it go through the band! It was weird! Hopefully I won't have that too much, as it freaked me out. I have been really concentrating on chewing a lot today, and I'm hoping this latest fill will help curb some of the hunger I have been getting and help move my weight down some more. As the nurse at my surgeons office said, we don't really want to waste any time before Christmas. Indeed.

Goodness, I think that might be enough for now. I will try to blog more often, as I usually have a bank of things I want to say, and then promptly forget them when I sit down to write. Hope everyone has a lovely day!

Red xo

A trip down memory lane

In other words, I have started going through my wardrobe (closet) full of clothes. Like most fat people, I have accumulated over the years enough clothes to fit out several people of several different sizes. I have a whole bunch of "these will fit eventually" things, and some "if I have a limb cut off" things too. Now that I am down a bit, I have been making it back into a couple of my favourite items. However, I am noticing something odd. It seems that this time (yes, I have lost these same 10kgs several times), I am losing my weight in different ways.

For example. I needed to find a new pair of jeans, as I wore through the thigh area of my trusty fat jeans, and they were getting quite baggy too. I went into the wardrobe to go "shopping" (I have so many pairs of jeans, it is quite embarrassing) and tried on the jeans I know I was wearing when I was this weight previously. And they don't fit! What the? I appear to have lost more around my top and a little at my middle, but my legs and butt don't seem to be joining the party. So, long story short (too late, sorry), none of my jeans fit me right now.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as it is rapidly heading into summer and it is almost too hot to wear full length jeans already, but I'm left wondering whether my legs and derrière will get with the program and drop off a bit more. I would really like to fit back into the clothes I grew out of on the way up, and also the ones I bought as "just in case" jobs. I am currently in either (Australian) size 18 or 20 jeans (depending on the style), and I have a pair of 15's in the wardrobe waiting.  Fifteens! What the heck was I thinking? They are more likely to disintegrate and fall off the hanger before I get into them! They have already been there for 4 years! Thinking back, I am pretty sure I bought them as a 2for1 deal, and bought a pair that fit, and a pair that were too small for some motivation. Yeah, that worked. Obviously.

Does anyone else remember what weight they were when they wore things? I was looking through all the things on hangers thinking back to the last time I wore them, and automatically figuring out when it was by how much I weighed! For example.... oh, that red top there, I bought that when I was visiting Hubby in Small Town where he was working, I was my skinniest ever (approx 73kg) and was so excited that it fit. Must have been August 2007 (We had been together about 2 weeks).

It some ways, it is sad that my memories are essentially attached (and influenced) to the weight I was at the time. It really does show that I my weight has been on my mind essentially for as long as I can remember.

Things I have learned recently..

• Night shift (and resultant jet lag) are really not conducive to blogging, commenting on blogs, or keeping up with blogs in any productive way. I fell asleep on the couch last night at 730, even though I've been finished my nights for 4 days. Forgive me readers, for it has been quite a while since my last blog. I am very much looking forward to finishing shift work, however this seems further away than ever. Although I was successful in my job application, I am being held on the shift because they need to find someone to replace me. As nice as it is to feel needed, I am also needed in my new job as two of the people who will be training me are leaving in December. Sigh. They are only able to do this because both jobs are in the same workplace. Frustrating, and I hope they will sort it out soon so that I can get out of the shift work! 

• I had 1.75ml in put in my band during the surgery. I now have 3.75ml after going for a fill during the week. I also discovered my port was nowhere near where I thought it was. It is to the left of my belly button, and I thought it was up at least 3 inches higher. Go figure. My surgeon was his usual no-nonsense self, I was in and out in 15 minutes. We had a brief chat, I told him I don't really have any foods I haven't been able to eat (although I haven't tried red meat, and don't really plan to either), and also that I have been getting hungry fairly often (about 2 hours after eating), and he decided to up my fill level. He doesn't think it will be enough for my sweet spot, but sent me on my way (once I'd had some water), and I have an appointment to go back on the 1st of November. I imagine I will get a touch more at that time. I have definitely been able to feel the difference, and I had my first kind-of-stuck experience when I ate too big a mouthful, too quickly and without chewing enough yesterday. I raced to the loo, just in case it would come back up, but it passed. I just had a bit of saliva. Not something I wish to repeat any time soon, and certainly not in public. 
• I learned what a deep dish pizza is! My goodness it looks divine! Thank you to everyone who blogged about Chicago, and those who held the fort. I am tremendously jealous of all the boobalicious action, I would have absolutely loved to be there, however I also would have needed to sell a kidney to afford it. I'm hoping that when we go on our trip next year to Europe that I will at least be able to catch up with a couple of boobs over there. I have really enjoyed reading everyone's updates and scouring the photos for familiar faces! It really came across in the blogs how lovely everyone is, and the comraderie (is that a word?) shared by so many women, most of whom had never met in person. If I win the lotto, I will do a boobs world tour, and come visit everyone individually :o)
• Weigh in! As of a couple of days ago, I weighed in at 80.1kg (176.6 lb). This is down just over 10 kg  (22 lb) from my pre-surgery diet to now, and down 15kg (33 lb) from my highest recorded weight (I'm sure I weighed more at some point, but if I didn't step on the scale, it didn't really happen). I'm happy with my progress, I am hoping to make it to 75kg (165 lb) or lower by Christmas. 
• That is about all I have time for at the moment. Many apologies to everyone whose blog I have read, but not commented on over the past 2 weeks. I am trying to be better at commenting, and a day job will certainly help with that! 

Hugs, Red xoxo

A new job for my birthday :)

What a week! So much to talk about, better get started. This may turn into a long post, but I'll try and keep it short.

Firstly, Birthday recap! We went out for dinner on Friday night with a whole bunch of people from work. It turned out to be a lovely evening, and time flew. Which means that we had to race home, yet changed, and get back to work for night shift in 15 minutes. It didn't really happen, we were a tiny bit late. However no-one complained as we took leftover birthday cake with us :) The cake was absolutely divine, and it fed many people over several days. As it was a flourless chocolate cake, it was very rich and I only needed a thin slice to feel like I had a treat (although the thin slice was probably calorie laden). I got some fabulous gifts at the dinner, encompassing my favourite things - pampering, cooking and travel! It shows that my friends know me well! I took a couple of pics of me dressed ready to go (sans shoes), and will try to put them below. I am yet to conquer the challenge of putting photos side by side without them looking silly, so they will be below each other.

Obviously, I paid no attention to the mess on the floor or bedside table so please ignore, also it was a bit dark which I didn't realise until now, sorry. To prove how short I am, these pants are actually supposed to be capri pants (3/4 length), but they go almost all the way to my ankles. I really should get them taken up. 

So after working all night, I got to come home and open pressies from my hubby and other family who had posted me things. Hubby did very well and got me a couple of CD's I had wanted, flowers, a teddy bear, and a voucher to have my car detailed. The latter does not sound romantic, however I had been dropping hints about possible presents for the last year and this was one of them. My car really needs it!

While I'm updating with some photos, this one was a couple of weeks ago when I travelled away for a friends surprise birthday party. I am still trying to get the hang of taking pics of myself, so apologies that this one is on an angle!

Same pants, but folded up a bit :) This shirt really shows off my um... Girls. 

Now moving on from the Birthday weekend, as you will have seen in my hurried post yesterday, I got the job! I am very excited, and hopefully I will be able to move into the new job very soon. I still have some night shifts I will probably need to do, but I'm so glad that I will be finishing up with shift work. It really isn't very conducive to having any kind of routine, and will hubby and I both working shift, sometimes we don't see a lot of each other. So this will be an improvement overall for our personal lives, even though it will be a drop in pay (as there are no weekends/public holiday/shift penalties). 

I've been getting increasingly jealous as this week rolls on, and everyone is posting about their plans for BOOBS! I was half serious about skyping into it! I hope that everyone has a wonderful time, travels safely and most importantly enjoys themselves! I know there will be a lack of blogging done over the weekend, so I will be waiting with anticipation for the recaps when everyone gets home. 

I better go and get ready for bed, it is getting quite late here!

xox

Doing the Happy Dance!!

Just a quick one as I'm at work and shouldn't be on my phone but......

I got the job!!!!!!!! Much happiness :D